A Second Chance at Love - Healing

Photo Credit: Elizabeth Dennison

"What do I do when I've lost my way?" "Is it possible for me to start over?" "How do I forgive myself?" 

These are just a few of the many questions that people have asked me when trying to move on from the past. I have had many requests for this blog post, and I think its contents are very important to address. I have seen many people broken from past relationships, and I would always ask myself, "What can I do to help them?"

A while ago, I had a friend come to me to tell me about a choice that she had made. She was broken and shattered by a relationship that happened months ago. She lost her virginity to her boyfriend, whose only intent was to use her. Her plan was to save herself for the man she was going to spend her life with. Her fear is that a good guy will love her less because of her decision, and she now doesn't think of herself as worthy or valuable. I told her, "If a guy would use your past against you or love you less because of your past, he isn't worthy of you, and he is probably not that "good" of a guy, anyway! You are loved. You should never think of yourself as unworthy of any man. The man who will truly love you will accept you for who you are now, and not for who you may have been then."

As I was writing this blog, I mentioned it to a close friend of mine and she told me, "If God can forgive someone, why can they not forgive themselves?" I think many people believe that God won't forgive them for the things they may have done. We've heard the message that God forgives all sins, but do we fully believe this fact? It has been said that God's greatest attribute is his boundless mercy. He loves you and forgives you, no matter what you've done. Mother Teresa wrote: 

"He loves you always, even when you don't feel worthy. When not accepted by others, even by yourself sometimes, He is the one who always accepts you... Only believe-you are precious to Him. Bring all you are suffering to His feet-only open your heart to be loved by Him as you are. He will do the rest."

You are not defined by your failures. Sometimes the hardest part about healing is forgiving yourself. It isn't easy. It will be a "process of learning to accept yourself and your past." Use your past to reshape and build your future. Look at the events and circumstances that let to those relationships or those mistakes. Learn from your mistakes, but don't let them define you. "Painful memories can only be healed when they are used as motivation to build a better future." Don't be afraid to take an active role in your healing process. "No matter what has happened in the past, you can always regain your virtue."

References: 
How to Find Your Soulmate Without Losing Your Soul by Jason and Crystalina Evert
http://chastityproject.com/